NAHIN .........(ek Kahaani)

 Meri Biwi SHAALINI mujhe khinchte hue Drawing room mein le gayi, "Aaiiye main aapko apni saheli se milvaati hoon. Hum log qareeb baraah saal baad mil rahe hain". Mujhe nahi maalum tha ki Drawing room mein daakhil hote hi mujhe hairat ka ek Zabardast jhatka bardaasht karna padega. Mere saamne woh ladki baithi thi, jisse mujhe behad nafrat thi,magar jisey main kabhi bhula na saka.

              Ye Tajurba mere liye bada romantic bhi tha aur ajeeb bhi, ki koi haseen ladki, gali (street) ke us paar roushandaan se aksar mujhe dekhti thi, Ye silsila kaafi dino se chal raha tha. Office se aate-aate aur fursat ke lamhon mein, jab main khidki mein baitha padne mein busy hota tha, uski arthpoorn aankhein roushandaan se mujhe jhaank rahi hoti thi. Us waqt meri ajeeb si haalat hoti thi. Ek taraf ye khoobsurat ehsaas ki humein bhi kisi ne dekhne ke Qaabil samjha, aur dusri taraf ek anjaana-sa darr. Ye gali haalaanki veeran rehti thi, magar itni bhi nahi thi ki kisi waqt us par aamadharaft hi na rehti ho, Isliye darr lagta tha ki kahin ye choriyaan kisi roz koi pakad na le. Khamakhaah badnaami hogi.

             Main yahaan dehradun 6 mahine ki training poori karne aaya tha aur iske baad hi sub-engineer ki post par appointment honi
thi. Apne career ke shuruwaat mein is qisam ke kisi bhi scandal se main bachna chahta tha. Mere kamre ki kidhki theek us roushandaan ke saamne thi aur main aksar apne kaamon ko us khidki ke paas baitkar hi anjaam detha tha...Chor nighahon se us roushandaan ki taraf dekhta bhi jaata tha..Jaane kyun meri kabhi himmat nahi padi ki un nidarr nazron ke jawab mein..main bhi use nazar bharkar dekh loon. Aate-jaate ek nazar uchatthi-si roushandaan ki taraf daal li, bas.....Ismein shak nahi ki woh ladki mujhe bahut acchi lagti thi. Ji chahta tha, vo isi tarah roushandaan ke piche moujood rahe aur main isi tarah khidki mein baitha rahoon aur nazar-baaziyon ka ye romantic silsila, isi tarah chalta rahey.

           Us roz bhi main khidki mein baitha novel padh raha tha..Chor nazron se usey bhi dekhta jaa raha tha, jo roshandaan ke peeche mujhe padne mein busy thi....Us waqt main bhi uski bebaak nazron ko padne ke liye himmat bator raha tha ki achanak mere saamne ,mere office ka chapraasi aa gaya , Main Boukhlaakar khada ho gaya..Mujhe aisa mehsus hua, jaise usne meri chori pakad li ho... woh chapraasi mujhe mere chief ka sandhesh deta aur meri ghabraahat ko arthpoorn nazron se dekhta hua chala gaya,magar meri haalat ajeeb ho gayi..Maine apna paseena ponchte huye usi waqt us taank-jhaank ke silsile ko humesha ke liye band karne ka faisla kar liya. Is khel mein chahe kitni hi rumaniyat kyun na ho, ismein sivaaye badnaami ke kuch nahi tha.Ye  badnaami mera poora career tabaah kar sakti thi... Main kapde pehan kar baahar nikal gaya..Roshandaan mein vo chehra ab bhi moujood tha..Maine gali mein charon taraf nazar doudaayi. Gali sunsaan padi thi. Main roshandaan ke zara kareeb pahunchkar bola "Dekhiye madam,ye taank-jhaank karna shareef ladkiyon ko shobha nahi deta".

            Raat ko bahut der se ghar louta tha. Darwaza kholte hi aadat ke mutabik,maine chor nazron se roshandaan ki taraf dekha aur mera dil dhakk se reh gaya.. Roushandaan ko iinte chunkar band kar diya gaya tha. Roushandaan ka is tarah band kar diya jaana muje kuch accha nahi laga. Kuch hi dino ki bechaini aur utsukta ne yah haqikat mujh par khol di ki vo ladki mere poore asthithva par buri tarah haavi ho gayi hai. Ab vo meri pehli aur aakhiri aarzoo aur zarurat ban chuki hai.

          Baar baar is ummeed par roushandaan ki taraf nazrein uthti thin, ki shayad us haseen chehre ki koi jhalak mil jaaye. Magar har baar maayusi hi haath aayi. Meri sakhti ke jawab mein, us roushandaan mein chuni iinte jaise mere liye dil ki faans ban gayi thi.

         Us roj chhutti thi. Main bilkul udaas aur bechain-sa baitha,us roshandaan ki taraf dekh raha tha ki achanak mujhe aisa laga jaise ki chuni hui iinton mein harkat mehsus ho rahi hai aur dekhte hi dekhte wahaan se do iinte nikal gayi. Vahi ladki thi.

          Aaj kareeb do mahine baad uski jhalak dekhne ko mil rahi thi. Ye avdhi us vyakthi ke liye bahut lambi hai,  jiska ek-ek pal intezaar mein bita ho. Us zaalim ne meri sakhti ke jawab mein mujse bahut sakht badla liya tha. main jaldi se darwaza kholkar bahar aaya aur dabe paanv chalta hua roushandaan ke paas pahunchkar ruk gaya.

        Uski aankhein baraabar mere chehre par jami hui thi. Main bhi thodi deir tak usey ek-tak dekhta raha. Shayad pehli baar maine usey itne dhyaan se dekha tha. Udhaas si khoyi khoyi aankhon mein bala ki kashish thi .. Maine dhere se pucha, "MUJHSE SHAADI KAROGI?"  Woh khamosh rahi. Apni bhaav-poorn aankhon se mujhe dhekhti rahi. Maine phir apna sawaal dohraaya. Kuch deir ki khamoshi ke baad, usne bharraayye huye lehze mein jawab diya, "NAHI"..aur iske saath hi Woh roushandaan veeran ho gaya. ye "NAHI" mere liye anupekshit jawab to tha hi, meri bhaavnaon ko chot pahunchane wala bhi tha. ye chot maine apni aatma par mehsus ki. Mujhe ehsaas hua, jaise kisi ne mujhe be-izzat kar diya ho. Zindagi mein pehli baar kisi ki taraf kadam badaya tha aur mooh ki khayi thi.

          Apni aatma per ye bhojh liye, main apne kamre mein lout aaya. Us bhojh nein mujhe raat-bhar beichain  kar rakha tha. Raat-bhar ke us dard aur bechaini ka phal tha-- NAFRATEIN. MERE DIL MEIN AB USKE LIYE NAFRATEIN HI NAFRATEIN THI. Meri training poori ho chuki thi.Mujhe sub-engineer ,shimla ke post ko join karna tha. Jab mera saara saaman metador mein load ho chuka to main driver ko hidaayat deta hua bola "tum chalo,hotel ke paas mera intezaar karna. Main maakan maalik ko chaabi dekar aata hoon. Metador ke jaate hi ,ek tez sargoshi mere kaanon se takraayi- "Suniye". Main na chahte huye bhi,roushandaan ki taraf khinchta chala gaya. Woh mujhe chand lamhon tak dekhti rahi phir boli, "Mera naam SHEEN hai. Kabhi yaad kar lijiyega." aawaaz mein ek yaachana (request) thi. Magar mere lehze mein to kadwahat hi kadwahat thi. Uske "NAHI" ki kadwahat.

          Main honth sikhodkar bola, "Raasthe mein milne waale har chehre ko yaad rakhkar, main zindagi bhar ka azaab mol nahi le sakta madam." "Lekin main humesha aapko yaad rakhungi. Humesha aapki khushi ke liye dhuaayein karti rahungi." Uski aawaaz bharra rahi thi aur lehze mein siskiyaan thi.. "Shukriya. Magar muje aapki dhuvaon ki zarurat nahi. Khuda haafiz."

         Maine chalte-chalte nazar uthakar dekha. Uski aankhon mein aansoo bhar aaye they. Usne apna ek haath rozshandaan se bahar nikaalkar hilaya.Main tezi se aage badh gaya.

        Dehradun chhode huye mujhe dus saal ho chuke hain. Main assistant engineer ban chuka hoon. Meri ek khoobsurat biwi hai. Do phool jaise bacche hain. Saari sukh-suvidaayein mujhe praapt hain. Magar SHEEN ko main kabhi nahi bhool saka. Raat ko jab bistar par aaram ke liye letta hu, koi sargoshi karta hai, "MEIN HUMESHA AAPKO YAAD RAKHUNGI.HUMESHA AAPKI KHUSHIYON KE LIYE DHUVAYEIN KARTI RAHUNGI." Muje aksar uska haath hilakar roondhi hui aawaaz mein alwida kahne ka drishya yaad aa jaata hai.  Uski taank-jhaank yaad aati hai. Mere daantne par uska roushandaan mein iinte chunva dena yaad aata hai. Magar uske saath hi , jab uski "NAHI" yaad aati hai, to aisa lagta hai, jaise mere poore asthithva mein kadwahat utar aayi ho. Vaise ye baat mere liye aaj bhi rahasya-mayi bani hui hai ki 'NAHI' ke bawajood, mujhe vidha karte waqt uski aankhon mein aansoo kyun they?  Honthon par kampkampaahat aur lehze mein dukh kyun tha? woh aakhir kyun chahti thi ki main usey yaad rakhun?  Aaj vahi SHEEN mere saamne baithi thi,mere chhote bacche se khel rahi thi. Meri biwi ne jis andaaz mein mera parichay karwaya,mujhe yaad nahi. Mujhe to bas ek hi ehsaas tha ki main us ladki se behad nafrat karta hu aur SHALINI ki saheli ki haisiyat se bhi, mujhe uska hona  vahaan manzur nahi tha.

          Usey achanak saamne dekhkar uska "NAHI" apni saari kadwahat ke saath,mujh par haavi hota jaa raha tha. Main koi sakht baat kahne hi waala tha ki achanak meri nazar deewar ke sahare rakhi baisaakiyon ke jode par padi. Maine sawaliya nazron se SHALINI ki taraf dekhkar poocha "YE KYA HAIN?" Vo hichkhichate huye SHEEN ki taraf dekhte huye boli "INKI HAIN". SHEEN ki shila pighalne lagi."NAHI" ki kadwahat jaise ekdum madhyam ho gayi.

        Maine SHEEN ki taraf dekhkar poocha "YE HUA KAISE?" woh khamosh rahi aur vaise hi mere bacche se khelti rahi. SHALINI boli, "Apne ghar ke store-room mein roushandaan ki iinte chunkar band kar rahi thi ki balance bigad gaya. Ye stool aur table samait niche ghir padi. Bhaari-bharkam table ghutne par aisi giri ki haddhi chur-chur ho gayi." "OOHHH"....Mere mooh se nikla. Jaante hue bhi maine atak-atak kar poocha ,"MAGAR ROUSHANDAAN BAND KARNE KI ZARURAT KYUN PAD GAYI THI? to SHEEN nein kaha "BAS JUNGLI BILLE-BILLIYON KA KHOUF." woh kuch yaad karte huye boli "AAP BHI TO DEHRADUN MEIN REH CHUKE HAIN NA?"  Mujhe aisa kyu laga, jaise SHALINI nein us bille ko pakad liya ho, jiski vajah se SHEEN apni ek taang gawa baithi thi.

         SHEEN ko vidha karte waqt maine mouka paakar sirf itna kaha, "Afhsos ki tumne mujhe in baisaakhiyon se bhi gaya-guzra samjha. Kamzor samjha. Ek mouqa to deti. Ek baar aazmaakar to dekhti. SHEEN ,main tumhe kabhi nahi bhool saka aur na kabhi bhool paunga." woh muskuraayi , jaise usey sab kuch mil gaya ho. Jaise usne aankhon hi aankhon mein kaha ho "SHUKRIYA"........