Main faqeeroN se Bhi karta hoon TiJaarat Aksar "ShaaZ",

 Jo Ek Rupaye Mein Bhi AnmoL Dua dete hain.... 

chadhta hai nigaahon mein kirdaar se apne,
be-vajah kisi shaqs ki iizzat nahi hoti

New units of indian currency...funny

Lacs & Crores no longer work -as least count -too many zero's to handle so we talk of Lac crores etc

And as part of Globalisation, one unit which works best is $Bn, but not understood properly in India

But for India another simpler system also emerges

The huge amounts mentioned in the recent scams have an upside: they have given us convenient new units for communicating large figures:

Rs 1,000 crores     = 1 Radia

Rs. 10,000 crores  = 1 Kalmadi

Rs 1,00,000 crores= 1 Raja

This will make it easier for us to easier to comprehend and communicate large numbers. For example:

Anil Ambani's new home in Pali Hill will cost Rs 4.5 Radias

India’s total annual subsidy on kerosene is Rs 2 Kalmadis

ONGC’s annual output is worth Rs 1.2 Rajas

India’s loss in the 3G scam is approximately Rs 1.7 Rajas

Poor Pramod Mahajan left behind only Rs 1.4 Radias

and finally we can even convert indian population into this system for easy handling😁😂😂😂😂

Metro man of india....... Elattuvalapil Sreedharan

Finally, Elattuvalapil Sreedharan has been allowed to retire, at the age of 79. A man who built the Calcutta Metro, Konkan Railway and the Delhi Metro.  But he is best remembered for re-building the Pamban bridge in just 46 days, which in 1963 was blown away by a cyclone into the sea. Here is a man who is honest to core, no nonsense guy and sets an example for others. A true leader who walked his talk. He truly deserves all the KUDOS.

Elattuvalapil Sreedharan also fondly known as the The "metro man of India". He is quite a sensational project manager, who almost always gets the project complete on time or before schedule, he fought all the delays caused by bureaucratic red tape, corruption and lack of funds.

Sreedharan's willpower has moved mountains. He is not just a dreamer but also a builder, but most of all one who has dedicated his achievements to every Indian. He stands out as a legend in the Indian Engineering history. His major projects being the Delhi Metro and the Konkan Railways.

This 75+ year-old Managing Director of the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation only desires the progress of his country. He wanted Delhi to have a world-class metro rail project to change the meaning of urban transport in India. And he did it.

The Konkan Railway project came to him in his retirement. It was a challenging task----760 km of rail tracks from Mumbai to Kochi through the rugged hills of the Western Ghats. As usual the Environmentalists protested, politicians said it shall not be done and the project ran short of money. But Sreedharan raised public bonds to finance it, taking everyone ahead.

Kiran Bedi explains why Sreedharan is worthy of the title: “He is not in his 40s or 50s, but he is in his 70s, a time when we normally retire. Sreedharan has given the best metro concept for the railway of the country with integrity, vision, with commitment and with remarkable professional skills. There is no other person better than him in this category.”

Sreedharan insists he does not have any special skills to get the best out of people. "I always found that people cooperate if you work for a good cause," he says.

THE WHOLE OF INDIA SAYS - THANK YOU SIR..........What a joy it is to take a ride in the Delhi Metro !

A good management lesson

The Pig And The Horse!!!

There was a farmer who had a horse and a

pig…..

One day, the horse became ill and he called

the veterinarian, who said:

- Well, your horse has a virus.

He must take this medicine for three days.

I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not

better,

we're going to have to put him down. -

Nearby, the pig listened closely to their

conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine

and left. -

The pig approached the horse and said: - Be strong, my friend.

Get up or else they're going to put you to

sleep!

-

On the second day, they gave him the

medicine and left. The pig came back and said:

- Come on buddy, get up or else you're

going to die!

Come on, I'll help you get up.

Let's go! One, two, three...

- On the third day, they came to give him the

medicine

and the vet said:

- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put

him down tomorrow.

Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the pig approached the

horse and said:

- Listen pal, it's now or never!

Get up, come on! Have courage!

Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great!

Come on, one, two, three... Good, good.

Now faster, come on...-... Fantastic! Run,

run more!

Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a

champion!!! All of a sudden, the owner came back,

saw the horse running in the

field and began shouting:

- It's a miracle! My horse is cured.

We must have a grand party. Let's kill the

pig!!!!- -

The Lesson: this often happens in the

workplace.

Nobody truly knows which employee

actually deserves

the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the

necessary support

to make things happen.

Remember………

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION

IS A SKILL!!!! If anyone ever tells you that your work

is unprofessional, remember:

Amateurs built the Ark [which saved all the

species]

and professionals built the Titanic [all died

tragically] DON'T LOOK TO BECOME A PERSON OF

SUCCESS,

LOOK INSTEAD

TO BECOME

A PERSON OF VALUES! .

मैं बिका नहीं ........

 वो मुझे खरीदना चाहते थे 
 मैं बिका नहीं 
वो मुझे डराना चाहते थे 
मैं डरा नहीं 
वो मुझे ख़त्म करना चाहते थे 
मैं बचा रहा 
क्योंकि मेरे साथ था मेरा यकीन 
और एक मकसद 
एक मकसद ये साबित करने का 
के झूठ कितना भी ताक़तवर क्यूँ न हो 
सच के सामने बौना होता है 

(प्रशांत वस्ल )

A London class..(Joke)

One day in a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds…

               I'll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."

The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Then a Jewish boy put his hand up and said "David",

The Buddhist boy said "Gautama Buddha" and the Muslim boy said "Mohammed" (PBUH).They all were not successful.

           Finally, a Gujju boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jignesh, come up here and I'll give you the 10 pounds that I promised."

           As the teacher was giving Jignesh his money, she said, "You know Jignesh, since you're a Hindu Gujarati; I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

           Jignesh replied, "Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but Bijness is Bijness!!!!! !

Moral : Talk the language which listener (Customer) wants, not that which you know.

 Photo Credit- Unknown 

कोशिश करने वालों की

लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती, 

कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। 

नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है, 
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है। 

मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है, 
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है। 

आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,  
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। 

डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है। 

मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में, 
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में। 

मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती, 
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। 

असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो, 
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो। 

जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम, 
संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम। 

कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। 

(हरिवंश राय बच्चन )

Indian Dances

 The dance heritage of India is at least 5000 years old. A dancing girl figurine was found in the ruins of Mohenjodaro and is dated approximately 2nd Century B.C. Many group dancing sequences are depicted in exquisite rock paintings of Bhimbetaka caves of Madhya Pradesh

 Dance is a form of communication that brings out the inner most feelings and at the same time helps express what a civilization is all about. Indian Dances are all about connection of the mind with the soul. A dancer has to lead a very disciplined life. All the traditional dances still follow the rules set by Bharata Muni in his 'Natya Shastra'.

 The Indian Dance is one of the most well established arts and has been developing for nearly two thousand years!! The dances originated in the temples, where dancing was used to illustrate and depict various Hindu mythologies. The dances were performed by 'Devadasi's' or ladies who dedicated their life to the service of god. It is believed that the gods and goddesses not only appreciate dance but are great dancers as well! Over time, dances were used not only to express devotion to god, but also to portray one's emotion and state of mind.

India offers a number of classical dance forms, each one originating from a different part of the country. The most famous forms of classical dance are:

Classical Dances

1.Bharatnatyam

2.Oddisi 
3.kuchipudi
4.Mohiniattam 

5.Kathakali 

6.Manipuri

7.Kathak

1. Bharatnatyam

Origin:  Tamil Nadu
Dress:  Traditional costume has 3 fans of unequal length ( cascading between the legs)
Notes:  Considered to be the “fire dance” – where the dancer’s movements mimic a dancing flame; soft and sculptured poses; accompanied by Carnatic music, it is considered a devotional dance – the embodiment of music in visual form


2. Odissi

Origin:  Orissa
Dress:  The head piece (mahkoot) is unique to Odissi dance.  Dancers typically wear their hair in a bun and the headpiece consists of a flower-decorated backpiece as well as a longer piece that rises above the crown.  An elaborate silver belt is also worn.
Notes:  The concept of Tribhangi is a signature feature – it divides the body into 3 parts (head, chest and pelvis) and there are independent movements of these parts; accompanied by Odissi music

3. Kuchipudi

Origin:  Andhra Pradesh

Dress:  A single, long center pleat (between the legs); also has a katcham at the back and many times a side pleat

Notes:  More rounded poses as compared with Bharatanatyam; brisk movements; the Tarangam (where the dancer dances with feet set in a brass plate) is unique to Kuchipudi

4. Mohiniattam

Origin:  Kerala

Dress:  White with gold brocade border; sari appears more skirted

Notes:  Mohiniattam litterly means “dance of the enchantress;” subtle gestures and sensual, coy eye movements; typcially performed as a solo recital by a woman; accompanied by vocal music, with lyrics being a mixture of Sanskrit and Malayalam

5. Manipuri

Origin:  Manipur

Dress:  A tubular lehenga layered with a transparent silk pasuan, along with a transparent odhini through which the dancer’s facial expressions can easily be seen.

Notes:  The raslila (where Lord Krishna dances with Radha) is a central theme; delicate rounded movements where the dancers feet do not strike the ground hard; no ghungroos (ankle bells) are worn

6. Kathakali

Origin:  Kerala

Dress:  Very large, heavy and elaborate, accompanied by painting of the face; there are 4 basic divisions:  Heros (characterized by green makeup), Villains (green face with streaks of red on the cheeks, or red or black faces), Females (basic pink or yellow makeup – no mask) and Superhumans (like Hunuman – may have a white beard).

Notes:  Kathakali literally means story-play or dance-drama; primary purpose is to narrate a story; the characters themselves never speak, but the perfomance is danced to musical compositions containin dialouge and narration

7. Kathak

Origin:  North India

Dress:  There are 2 kinds of costumes:  a traditional lehenga-choli and a Mughal anarkali-style with a long skrited top and fitted chudidaar.

Notes:  Origins can be traced back to Kathaks (nomadic storytellers); dancer directly addressed the audience; slow and subtle movements along with vigorous footwork and pirouettes; performance starts off slow and progresses to a fast tempo, ending in a dramatic climax; 3 main gharanas (schools):  Jaipur, Lucknow and Benaras

Folk Dances 

India also has a number of folk dances, performed by ordinary people and tribal people.

1.Bathakamma - A folk dance of Andhra Pradesh.

2. Bihu - Bihu is a folk dance from Assam. It is a very brisk and aggressive dance performed by both boys and girls.

3. Bagurumba - This is a folk dance from Assam. It is performed by the Bodos and is known for its colourful attire.

4. Bhangra - This is a folk dance from the Northwest Indian state of Punjab. It is a lively, powerful dance.

5. Chah Baganar Jumur Nach - This is a Dance from Assam. It is a dance of the tea garden.  

6. Changu - The changu dance is a folk dance found in Odissa and Andhra Pradesh. It derives its name from the changu, which is a simple tambourine (daf)  that is used to accompany this dance.

7.Dandaria - A folk dance of Andhra Pradesh.

8. Dasakathia - This is a folk theatre of Odissa. It is performed by a pair of performers who entertain the audience with dance, songs, and stories.

9. Dhamal - A folk dance of Andhra Pradesh.

10. Gair - This is a dance of Rajasthan. It is performed by groups of dancers moving in and out with an almost military precision.

11.Garba - This is a folk dance from Gujarat. It is traditionally danced at marriages and during the time of Navaratri.

12. Geendad - This is a folk dance of Rajasthan. It is very similar to the Gair.

13.  Ghoomar - This is a folk dance of Rajasthan. It derives its name from its characteristic pirouettes.

14.  Ghanta Patua - This is a folk dance of Odissa. Its name is derived from the large brass gongs known as ghanta. It is performed in the Hindu month of Chaitra. This dance is most notable because it is performed on stilts

15. Gobbi - A folk dance of Andhra Pradesh.

16. Jhoomar - This is a dance of the Mundas and Mahantas of Odissa.

17.  Kacchhi Ghodhi - This is a folk dance of Rajasthan that is performed with a dummy horse.

18.  Kandhei - (see Sakhi Nata)

 19. Kavadi - This is a folk dance of Tamil Nadu. It is played with a wooden pole upon which are tied two pots. The stick is then balanced upon the shoulder.

 20. Karagam - This is a folk dance of Tamil Nadu. It is played with a pot balanced on the head.

21.  Kela Keluni - This is a dance performed by the Kelas of Odissa.

22.  Mathuri - A folk dance of Andhra Pradesh.

 23. Raas - This is a folk dance from Gujarat. It is traditionally danced at marriages and during the time of Navaratri.

24.Sakhi Nata - This is the puppet dance of Odissa.

 25.Terahtali - This is a folk dance of Rajasthan. It is performed by women while they are seated.

26.  Therukoothu - This is a folk theatre from the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu.

27.  Yaksha Gana - This is a folk theatre from the south Indian state of Karnatika.

अपना सा कुछ...

खोलो खोलो अपनी आँखें और गौर से सुनो 
देने को तो बहुत कुछ है 
पर अपना सा कुछ देना चाहती हूँ ...

एक बूँद सूरज की 
एक कतरा आसमान का 
कोयल की आधी कूक 
और जगमगाते सपने 
अच्छा लगे तो और मांगो 
देने को तो बहुत कुछ है 
अपना सा कुछ देना चाहती हूँ ......

आसमान सा आइना 
एक टिप्पी तितलियों की 

एक चम्मच नदी के धारे 
और एक मुट्ठी ज़िन्दगी   
अच्छा लगे तो और मांगो 
देने को तो बहुत कुछ है 
पर अपना सा कुछ देना चाहती हूँ 

(गुलज़ार)

How to kill an Ant.....joke

Question: How to Kill an Ant?

Asked in the exam for 15 marks.

Student:

Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar & keep it outside the Ant's Hole.

After eating, Ant will search for some water near a water tank.

Push the ant into it. Now, the ant will go to dry itself near the fire. When it reaches fire, put a bomb into the fire. Then admit the wounded ant to the ICU. Remove the oxygen mask from its mouth and kill the ant

MORAL:
Don't play with students.
We can kill the ant for even 15 marks😂😂😂😂

Har ek friend zaroori hota hai....joke

Beta ghar late aaya to Dad ne pucha:
 "Where were you?"

...Bete nein kaha: "Friend ke ghar tha."
Dad nein usi hi saamne uske 10 friends ko call kiya.
......4 nein kaha: "Haan Uncle, Yahin par tha."
2 nein kaha: "Abhi just nikla hai."
3 nein kaha: "Yahin hai Uncle, Padh raha hai, Phone doon kya?"
ek  nein hadd hi kar di, kaha: "Haan Papa bolo kya hua"...!!!

Ab bolo HAR EK friend zaroori hota hai!😜 😂😂😂😂😂

God's own pharmacy

Amazingly the following fruit and vegetables look strikingly simular to human body parts and help with their functions too!

CARROTS

A sliced carrot looks like the human eye.

The pupils,iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye...and yes science shows that carrots greatly enhance the blood flow function the eyes.

TOMATOES

A tomato has four chambers and is red.

The heart has four chambers and is red.

All research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

GRAPES

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart.

Each grape looks like a blood cell and research show grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

WALNUTS

A walnut looks like a mini brain with a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebrums.

Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop morethan 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

KIDNEY BEANS

Kidney beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and look exactly like the human kidneys.

CELERY,RHUBARB

Celery, rhubarb and others look like bones.

Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium and help with bone strength.

FIGS

Figs are full of seeds and hang in two,s when they grow.

Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers too.

SWEET POTATOES

Sweet potatoes look like the pancreas and balance the grycemic index of diabetics.

OLIVES

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

ORANGES AND GRAPEFRUIT

Oranges and grapefruit look like mammery glands of the female and assist the health of the breasts.

ONIONS

Onions look like the bodies cells.

Todays research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the bodies cells. Garlic also does the same job.

AVOCADO, EGGPLANT AND PEARS

These target the health and function of the womb and cervix and look just like these organs.

Also it takes exactly 9 months from blossom to ripened fruit, for an avocado to grow....

MUSHROOMS

Slice a mushroom in half and it resembles a human ear.

Guess what? They can improve your hearing as they are one of the few foods that contain vitamin D.

RED WINE

Red wine looks like blood and plays an important part in cardiovascular health.

Drinking red wine can reduce the risk of a heart attack.

BROCOLI

Close up, the tiny cells of a brocoli can look like cancer cells.

This veg can play an important part in preventing the disease and can reduce the chance of men getting prostate cancer by 45%.

BEANSPROUTS

Beansprouts look just like sperm and they can boost male fertility.

Just half a cupful can provide 16 per cent of the required vitamin c for a man.

ROOT GINGER

Root ginger looks like the stomach.

Its interesting that one of the main benefits of eating ginger is to aid digestion.

The Chinese have also been using it for centeries to help combat the feeling of nausea.

Ek urdu kahaani ..... Chor khatt

                                 Woh lafanga inhin charoun mein se koi ek tha , kafi soch vichaar ke baad main is nateeje per pahunchi thi ke mujhe pehli fursat mein koi bada qadam uthana chahiye. Agar maine dheel de di to is kamine ka hausla badh jayega aur mere liye haalaat sambhalna mushkil ho jayega. Lekin abhi tak main apne mujrim ke hawaale se uljhan ka shikaar thi. Main faisla nahi kar pa rahi thi ke woh in charoun mein se kaun khabees hai jisne meri naak mein dum kar rakha hai. woh chaaroun hi ek hall mein baithte the, aur mera kamra us hall ke ek koney mein tha . Kamra kya tha , bus ek chota sa cabin tha. Lakdi ke frame jodkar usey kamre ki shakal de di gayi thi. Is cabin mein mere alawa Anila baithti thi. Magar main aesi jagah baithti thi ke vahaan se hall mein maujood sirf do logon ko dekh sakti thi yani Arif aur Shehzaad saahab ko.

                                      Anila ki meiz se vo chaaron aasaani se nazar aa sakte the. Nizami saahab aur baabar ali ki meizein mujhe dikhayi nahi deiti thi. Hall mein baithne wale charoun logon mein ek ajeeb Sa farq paya jata tha --Arif ki umr lagbhag 27 saal ki rahi hogi. Usne king size moochein paal rakhi thi magar daadhi mundvaata tha. Shehzaad sahab 40-45 saal ke ek daadhi wale shaqs the. Baabar ali gol chehre wala ek cleanshave shaqs tha jo waqaiyi smart tha jabki Nizami sahab bhaari bharkam jism ke malik the. Unki umr ka andaaza 50 ke qareeb lagaaya ja sakta tha. Unke chehre per daadhi to maujood thi magar moochein ghaayab. 

    

                                Ye ek shipping company ka daftar tha. Lamba, sehatmand Arif ,Dubla patla Baabar ali aur Shehzad sahab ka shumaar clerks mein hota tha jabki Nizami saahab STAR SHIPPING COMPANY  ke accountant aur cashier the. Shehzad saahab is company ke purane dost the aur company ke malik Tajammul hussain unka

Chanakya neeti...Quotes of Chanakya

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.

Chanakya

A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode.

Chanakya

A man is great by deeds, not by birth.

Chanakya

मैं अभी अनिश्चित हूँ । ........

मेरी प्रगति या गति का
यह मापदण्ड बदलो तुम,
जुए के पत्ते सा
मैं अभी अनिश्चित हूँ ।
मुझ पर हर ओर से चोटें पड़ रही हैं,
कोपलें उग रही हैं,
पत्तियाँ झड़ रही हैं,
मैं नया बनने के लिए खराद पर चढ़ रहा हूँ,
लड़ता हुआ
नयी राह गढ़ता हुआ आगे बढ़ रहा हूँ ।

अगर इस लड़ाई में मेरी साँसें उखड़ गईं,
मेरे बाज़ू टूट गए,
मेरे चरणों में आँधियों के समूह ठहर गए,
मेरे अधरों पर तरंगाकुल संगीत जम गया,
या मेरे माथे पर शर्म की लकीरें खिंच गईं,
तो मुझे पराजित मत मानना,
समझना –
तब और भी बड़े पैमाने पर
मेरे हृदय में असन्तोष उबल रहा होगा,
मेरी उम्मीदों के सैनिकों की पराजित पंक्तियाँ
एक बार और
शक्ति आज़माने को
धूल में खो जाने या कुछ हो जाने को
मचल रही होंगी ।
एक और अवसर की प्रतीक्षा में
मन की क़न्दीलें जल रही होंगी ।

ये जो फफोले तलुओं मे दीख रहे हैं
ये मुझको उकसाते हैं ।
पिण्डलियों की उभरी हुई नसें
मुझ पर व्यंग्य करती हैं ।
मुँह पर पड़ी हुई यौवन की झुर्रियाँ
क़सम देती हैं ।
कुछ हो अब, तय है –
मुझको आशंकाओं पर क़ाबू पाना है,
पत्थरों के सीने में
प्रतिध्वनि जगाते हुए
परिचित उन राहों में एक बार
विजय-गीत गाते हुए जाना है –
जिनमें मैं हार चुका हूँ ।

मेरी प्रगति या अगति का
यह मापदण्ड बदलो तुम
मैं अभी अनिश्चित हूँ ।

(Dushayant kumar)

Beshumaar aadmi

har taraf har jagah be-shumaar aadmi
phir bhi tanhaiyon ka shikaar aadmi

subah se shaam tak bojh dhota hua
Apni hi laash ka khud mazaar aadmi

har taraf bhagte daudte raaste
har taraf aadmi ka shikaar aadmi

roz jeeta hua roz marta hua
har naye din,naya intezaar aadmi

zindagi ka mukaddar safar dar safar
aakhri saans tak beqraar aadmi

(Nida Fazli)

Twenty one advices

ONE.

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.

Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

Awesome answers .. really funny

Our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind and the right answer at right time.

sometimes Even if u don't know the answer for a question it is better to confuse the questioner :D

> Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

> A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

> Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

> A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

> Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?

> A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank )

> Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

> A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

> Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

> A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

> Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

> A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

> Q. What looks like half apple ?

> A. The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

> Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?

> A. Dinner.

> Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?

> A. It caused a revolution.

बातें

बातें

सायस  नही
अनायास  की जाएँ
तो ज्यादा  सुन्दर होती हैं
बातें
लफ़्ज़ों  से नहीं
आँखों से की जाएँ
तो ज्यादा मार्मिक  होती हैं
बातें
हिचक से परे
ह्रदय  के उच्छ्वास  से आयें तो
ज्यादा स्थान लेती हैं 
बातें
क्षणिक प्रक्रिया  से नही
स्वप्न के आशिआने में सजें तो
ज्यादा उम्र पाती हैं
इस तरह बातें
भरती हैं
जीवन में  अर्थ
और
रचती  हैं
संबंधों  की गरिमा
अनवरत ............

(अपराजिता)

All Google tricks

GO TO GOOGLE....

1> Type  “Google Gravity” in google searchbox  and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”(wait a sec to experience the effect of gravity.)

2> Type  “elgoog”and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” (the Mirror effect is on.)

3> Type  “Google Sphere” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” (see the spinning effect.

4> Type “who is the cutest” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” (see who’s so cute and beautiful/handsome.)

5> Type  “Google Loco” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” (see what’s moving.)

6> Type  “ LOL Limewire” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” (see that you are as a pirate.)

7> Type  “Epic Google” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

8> Type  “Rainbow google” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

9> Type  “Annoying Google” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

10> Type  “Google pacman” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

11> Type  “Google Magic” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

12> Type  “Google color (Ex: pink,blue)” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

13> Type  “Google Heart Page” and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

14> Type  “epic box” click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

15> Type  “weenie google” click on “I’m Feeling Lucky”

16> Type “Who’s Awesome” in google search box and click on “I’m Feeling Lucky” any one dare 2 try???

17> Type  "Let it snow" in google search box and see wat happens to ur google screen in seconds

आँसुओं की मार्केटिंग

घर के सारे  कामों  से निवृत होकर अख़बार पढ़ने बैठी तो बाहर से आवाज़ सुनाई दी ,आंसू ले लो आंसू ......... मैं उस आवाज को ध्यान से सुनने लगी ये क्या चीज़ है? शायद मुझे बराबर शब्द समझ नही आ रहे थे फ़िर आवाज थोडी पास में आई और उसने फ़िर से वही दोहराया तब मुझे स्पष्ट समझ में आया वो आंसू बेचने वाला ही था|

मै उत्सुकतावश बाहर आई अभी तक सब्जी वाले .अख़बार वाले ,दूध वाले .झाडू बेचने वाले, आचार ,पापड़ ,बड़ी बेचने वाले चूड़ी बेचने वाले, यहाँ तक क़ी हर तीसरे दिन बडे बडे कारपेट बेचने वाले आते रहते हैं ! मुझे समझ नही आता कि इतने छोटे -छोटे घरो में इतने बडे बडे कारपेट कौन खरीदता है? और वो भी इतने मंहगे ?

भाई मै तो फेरीवाले  से कभी १०० रु से ज्यादा का सामान नही खरीदती!

हां पर ये मेरी सोच है, शायद लोग खरीदते होगे ?तभी तो बेचने आते है या फ़िर उनके रोज रोज आने से लोग खरीदने पर मजबूर हो जाते है?

राम जाने ?

किंतु आंसू !!!

ये क्या बात हुई ? ये भी कोई खरीदने की चीज़ है क्या ?

A lovely letter from a Ex-husband and Ex- Wife...joke

Dear Wife:

             I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

            These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

             

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want anything that connects us as husband and wife.

            Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

                                                                     Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ex-Husband,

                   Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

                   I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.

                   I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a girl!” Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.

                  And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

                 

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

                 After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

                I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Heck and Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

A true story of IIT Bombay...joke

One night Four Students were Playing till late night and didn't study for the test which was sechuduled for the next day

                          In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.  They then went up to the dean  and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the Tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that's why there were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time.  On the third day they appeared before the Dean.The Dean said that this was a special condition test. All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.

Q .1. YOUR NAME .........................( 2 MARKS )

Q.2 . WHICH TYRE BURST ................( 98 MARKS ).

a) Front Left

b) Front Right

c) Back Left

d) Back Right

True story of IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992-96 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dost bhi kashtiyon ki tarah..

Gehre paaniyon mein apni kashtiyan utaarne-se pehle,

main kinaaron par unhe aazmaata zaroor hoon..

phir kisi safar par jaata hoon..

Ye alag baat hai,

ki kinaaron ki narm lahron mein aazmayi huyi kashtiyaan bhi,

kabhi kabhi,gahre samandar mein toot kar bikhar jaati hain.

Dost bhi kishtiyon ki tarah hote hain..... 




"गहरे पानियों में अपनी कश्तियाँ उतारने-से पहले,

मैं किनारों पर उन्हें आज़माता ज़रूर हूँ..

फिर किसी सफ़र पर जाता हूँ..

ये अलग बात है,

कि किनारों की नर्म लहरों में आज़मायी हुई कश्तियाँ भी,

कभी कभी,

गहरे समंदर में टूट कर बिखर जाती हैं।

दोस्त भी कश्तियों  की तरह होते हैं.."




(Prashant Vasl)


पंक्तियों का सार:

तैयारी और परिक्षण: आप गहरे और अनिश्चित सफर पर जाने से पहले, किनारों पर सुरक्षा में अपनी तैयारियों (कश्तियों) को परखते हैं। आप सावधानी बरतते हैं और जोखिम लेने से पहले चीजों को आजमाते हैं।


अप्रत्याशित जोखिम: यह जीवन की एक बड़ी सच्चाई है कि किनारे की नर्म लहरों में परखी हुई चीज भी, गहरे समंदर (जीवन की बड़ी चुनौतियों) में कभी-कभी टूट जाती है। इसका मतलब है कि लाख कोशिशों के बावजूद, अनिश्चितता बनी रहती है।


दोस्तों से तुलना: आप दोस्तों को कश्तियों से तुलना करते हैं, जिसका अर्थ है:
दोस्तों को भी परखना चाहिए।दोस्त भी आपके सफर के साथी होते हैं।कुछ दोस्त, जिन्हें आप भरोसेमंद मानते हैं, वे भी जीवन के कठिन समय (गहरे समंदर) में साथ छोड़ सकते हैं या टूट सकते हैं।

यह दर्शाता है कि आप जीवन में सावधानी रखते हैं, लेकिन आप जोखिम की प्रकृति और मानव संबंधों की भंगुरता (fragility) को भी समझते हैं।

रीढ़ ......

"सर मुझे पहचाना क्या ?"
बारिश में कोई आ गया 
कपडे थे मुचड़े हुए 
और बाल सब  भीगे हुए 
पल को बैठा , फिर हंसा और बोला ऊपर देख कर
"गंगा मईया कल आई  थी , मेहमान होकर 
कुटिया में रह के गयी 
मायके आई हुई  लड़की की मानिंद 
चारों दीवारों पर नाची 
खाली हाथ अब जाती कैसी ?
खैर से,  पत्नी बची है 
दीवार चूरा हो गयी, चूल्हा बुझा 
जो था , नहीं था, सब गया 
प्रसाद में पलकों के नीचे चार कतरे रख गयी है पानी के 
मेरी औरत और मैं लड़ रहे हैं 
मिटटी कीचड फेंक कर 
दीवार उठा कर आ रहा हूँ 
जेब की जानिब गया था हाथ , कि  हंसकर उठा वो 
ना, ना, ना पैसे नहीं सर 
यूँ ही  अकेला लग रहा था 
घर तो टूटा, रीढ़ की हड्डी नहीं
हाथ रखिये पीठ पैर ,
और इतना कहिये कि 


लड़ो बस .........

(Gulzar)

Bicharna Hai to

Bicharna Hai.. To Mat Alfaaz Dhoondo......
Hamaare Waaste Lehjaa Bohot Hai.... 

Unknown

Rare facts about Coins

Mint Marks on Indian Coins

This information is absolutely correct and very interesting! This is a fascinating fact about Indian Coins that very few people know.

This symbol is called the Mint Mark. This mark indicates which government mint produced the coin.

The Government of India currently has four active mints that strike coins, and each coin produced by these mints bears a specific mark:

Serial No.	Mint City	Mint Mark	Identification / Example
1.	Mumbai	Diamond	Underneath the year of issue, there is a diamond \large \diamond shaped mark.
2.	Hyderabad	Star	Underneath the year, there is a star \large \star shaped mark.
3.	Noida/Delhi	Dot/Small Circle	Underneath the year, there is a small dot \large \bullet or circular mark. (Technically, this mint is located in Noida, Uttar Pradesh, but it falls under the Delhi region.)
4.	Kolkata	No Mark	There is no mark beneath the year. It is left blank.

Why is this Amazing?

1. Production Identification: This mark is a simple way for coin collectors and economists to immediately determine which mint the coin came from, and it can also affect the coin's rarity.

2. Historical Significance: Many older Indian coins also feature other mint marks, such as a 'C' on some old Calcutta Mint coins or a 'B' on some Bombay Mint coins, which reflect India's coinage history.

3. Everyday Mystery: This is a hidden symbol that exists in our pockets every day, yet we use it without knowing its identity or importance. It reveals the subtle details hidden within everyday objects.

Most of us don't know this........Now put your hand inside your pocket/

wallet/ purse and check out!